Election Month Has Arrived: Five More Days

Mitt Romney has been campaigning for the presidency for more than six years. His family has a history of campaigning, his father was an unsuccessful presidential candidate in the 1960′s. Now, as the page of the calendar turns to November, with five short days to go before the nation’s decision is made, Romney is completing his rebirth. He has returned almost entirely to his days as a moderate Republican governor. 

The Tea Party must be steaming right now, ready to blow the lids of their pots. All of the promises that Romney made when he was fighting to get their votes during the primaries, all of the posturing, hawkish rhetoric, competing with out-of-touch conservatives like Rick Santorum and the Unethical Amphibian, has been discarded in favor of the center, the middle of the American political spectrum where elections are won. But hey, it’s not like the Tea Partiers are going to vote for Obama!

It reveals much about the American political system when winning the primaries is so different from winning the general election. On one side, America is a gigantic country with hundreds of millions of people and billions of opinions. On the other side, we agree on fundamental points: we must remain strong, we must remain safe, and we must continue to advance the American cause. Some would say that it is normal to present two different faces, one during the primary and one during the general election. But when the past elections are divided up between Democratic primaries and Republican primaries, austere differences appear.

During the 2008 campaign, the differences between Obama and Hillary Clinton were slim, existing in theory if at all. The Obama who began campaigning in the primaries was the same man elected president in November 2008. His messages remained identical, he did not sway, change opinion, or pander. He led.

The transformation that Mitt Romney has undergone is incredible. He ran in 2008 as a moderate Republican. He lost the nomination to John McCain. He reappeared two years ago to throw his hat in for the 2012 election, and the media immediately labelled him as the front runner. This was not because Mitt Romney deserved to be in front, but because there were literally no other prominent Republicans who wanted to take a stab at unseating Obama. It shows just how desperate the Republicans were that Newt Gingrich, the Unethical Amphibian himself, thought that he could be a presidential candidate!

Yet as the media-annointed “front-runner” Romney still had to deal with an angry sect on the far right of his party who threatened to gain enough momentum to propel someone like Santorum into the national race. Romney doubled down, and veered to the right. He attacked his own personal history of helping the poor and sick. He railed against Obamacare as unconstitutional (looks like he was wrong about that) and went after Obama for being weak on an international stage.

Funny how different one man can be, even when there are hundreds of millions of eyeballs on him. Now, less than one week before the polls close, he is assuring people that he would keep some of the aspects of Obamacare, that he would not turn Medicare into a voucher system and, as revealed during the final presidential debate, he would take an identical strategy to dealing with international situations as Obama has. Romney has not just veered to the center, he has veered to the left!

There is some danger to this, as the far right, who were already skeptical about Romney, might decide that it’s not worth it to show up at the polls. In a state like Wyoming, that isn’t going to matter. Romney will get the delegates. But in swing states, where Romney and Obama have spent nearly all of their time, it could have an effect. Except for one thing: the far right in America doesn’t seem to have a memory, unless it is used to recall the gold old days when Reagan was President. They see Obama as the biggest threat to their personal liberties, and clasp their notions of freedumb, rejecting all rationalization, scientific thought, and even their own blatant hypocrisy. If Romney can flip flop across the nation and the years like a fish trying to escape from a boat, and no one on the right cares, let’s hope it’s because they aren’t planning on voting.

Romney’s Running Mate 2012: The Mystery Man

As fingers touch keyboard to write this post, the GOP and Mitt Romney’s campaign team are vetting possible candidates for the running mate to join Romney in the race to the White House in November. But this year’s election is unusual in a few ways. First, there is a strong absence of powerful options. Second, it is more important than ever to be reserved with a choice (after the Republican’s Sarah Palin disaster of 2008). And third, campaign rhetoric — if it can indeed be called that — by the Republicans during the primaries revealed irreversible damage to the intra-personal relationships of candidates and their supporting bases.

mystery man

Not as sexy as Biden

Normally, a vice presidential candidate comes from the group of presidential candidates during the primary season. Lots of hopefuls toss in their hats at the beginning, most knowing that they will not secure the nomination in the end, but will gain valuable exposure and possibly a route to higher office. The Republican primary contests earlier this year seemed more like a matinee circus show than a political event, with amateur leaders milking the life out of the Tea Party movement. No one in the GOP hoped that Romney would end up with the nomination, even though he was correctly labelled as the front runner the whole time.

Yet here we are now, the Republicans have their #1 man, and now they need a #2. Looking at the other candidates from the primaries, very few of them have any desirability left. Herman Cain came out about an affair. Michele Bachmann was exposed for what she really is: a legislative distraction. Rick Perry was too much like W Bush (which makes you wonder how terrible it is to be a voter in Texas). Newt Gingrich promised the world, lied to everyone’s faces, attacked the field, but ended up with the black eye himself. Ron Paul is never taken seriously by the Republican Party (and there is a Libertarian on the ballot in November already). The only one left is Rick Santorum.

Rick Santorum would be the conservative choice, but not a conservative choice. Just like Palin before him, Santorum is too much of a wildcard. His words are aflame with religious doctrine that would bring an uncomfortable spotlight onto faith in a race where Romney wants to avoid discussing Mormonism. He also has proven widely out-of-touch with the American population through his unpopular views on homosexuality and his practice of isolating his children from society. In a race where every candidate is accusing the other of being out-of-touch, it would hurt Romney to go radical.

That being said, many Republican pundits believe that Romney must choose a running mate that is to the right of him, to shore up support from the evangelicals, Tea Partiers, and social conservatives who look wearily upon his record of tolerance. This is nothing more than Republican pundits trying to satisfy themselves, and is the wrong strategy if Romney really wants to win. There is no way that Republicans to the right of Romney on the political spectrum would ever vote for Obama. Even though they might be unhappy with the Republican nominee, they will undoubtably vote for Romney. Half of the trash they spew is about getting Obama out of office, with no apparent reason (i.e. he’s black, he helps the poor, he doesn’t start wars under false pretexts, he cares about progress).

The intra-Republican attacks during the primary season revealed one thing: the GOP has lost its mind. They and their donors spent millions of dollars to paint other Republicans as hurtful, profligate, socialist, and insane, only to have to try to congeal before facing the real enemy: the Democrats. After the ads, the debates, and the statements, there is no way that Romney returns to that pool to pick his fish. So his campaign is certainly looking outwards, and looking for one thing: economic prowess.

Jobs and the economy top the list of American priorities, and Romney’s resume both helps him and harms him, depending on who you talk to. But Romney could gain a valuable boost by selecting a running mate who has proven himself (or herself, but really who are we kidding?) as a strong economic steward, a leader who has taken a state or a city and kept it from bankruptcy, default, and maybe even found some growth. The duo might look like the board room at a major corporation, but that might be just what Americans are looking for. Let’s hope for the left that Romney chooses Santorum.

Let The Storm Begin: Romney vs. Obama

There has hardly been better news this entire year than the announcement by Rick “Well, that was difficult” Santorum that he would quit his campaign and not seek the Republican nomination for President. The skies opened and revealed gracious angels slowly restoring a touch of sanity to America that had been lost in the fiery fury of his ignorant positions and arguments. No one was happier than Mitt R. Money. 

Gabriel with jet engines

God's task force

Romney could not afford to be pulled to the right much longer, as the deeper he became entrenched in those “conservative” arguments, the harder it would be to veer back towards the center to face off against Obama (who the latest polls show having an 8% lead on Romney). Romney has flip-flopped more than a souvenir shop on Santa Monica beach, reversing his stances on all of the major issues at least once, if not multiple times, over his political career. It is one thing to change your mind after 10 years, it is another to pull an about-face over the course of weeks or months.

But Romney now faces an even bigger problem than Santorum, the Republicans themselves. Santorum, in all of his uneducated conservatism, presented Romney with a target to go after, a specific island on which to drop his campaign bombs. Now that Romney is presenting himself as speaking for all Republicans, he must do a very good job of sympathizing with the citizens who supported Santorum. These people do not like to read, which could be a good thing for Romney. It is good because they won’t research Romney’s past; finding out about his support of civil rights, helping the sick and poor, and working to control the spread of assault rifles. It is also good because these people are glued to their TVs (often because their legs are physically incapable of hefting around their globulous bodies further than the fridge) and are thus very susceptible to the type of negative advertising that Romney’s camp will be blasting over the airwaves.

The counter argument is that they have already written Romney off as out of touch with their concerns, not Christian enough (though how helping the sick and poor, and loving thy neighbor, no matter the color of their skin or sexual orientation, is not Christian is beyond The Wrong Wing, it seems we read the wrong Bible), and just another career politician who has only managed to maneuver his way to the top by agreeing with whatever is trendy at the time. Republicans are world-famous for being close-minded, often with absolutely no factual information for their positions, so getting them to open up a little to Romney will be the biggest challenge of this race. It would be naive to say that Romney should start praying now, he probably already has a nationwide prayer structure in place, with volunteers praying for him in each of the states, plus throwing out a few prayers for Allah and Krishna too. It can’t hurt.

 

 

It’s Over Newt

A good old-fashioned, possum-skin beating down south as Rick “Benedict X” Santorum takes two states that should have been in some way contested by The Unethical Amphibian. If you can’t win in the south Newt, get the hell out of the race.

didn't see this coming

Time for wife #4?

The purgatory where former politicians go after being ousted from office is not Dantesque. It is a place filled with Greek island cruises, lucrative speaking engagements, books, and consulting contracts where a former politician is paid simply because of the number of people he knows. Gingrich was living large there, helping to bankrupt the federal housing giants, making up history, and writing self-help books. The irony is strong now, since it appears that he did not heed his own advice. That is, unfortunately, how Republicans operate.

When he waddled into the Republican race he presented himself as the conservative candidate, his record of corruption and unethical practices aside, he was fairly conservative on the major social issues, especially his Contract With America. Republicans who hate Romney for his history of helping sick and poor people and furthering the causes of civil rights saw some sort of darkness inside of Gingrich which appealed to them.

But, alas, as the country started to polish off its facts from the past two decades it became clear that Gingrich was more hypocritical than most Republicans, a feat in itself. He rails against Washington insiders, yet it’s hard to be more inside Washington than in the position of Speaker of the House of Representatives. He was fined for unethical actions, which he has never made public. He tore our nation apart persecuting President Clinton for being unfaithful while he himself was cheating on his second wife. That much should not have been a surprise, he upgrades his wives the way most people upgrade their refrigerator or dishwasher.

People have seen right through him, and he is fizzling out while the other candles burn brighter. Now Gingrich wants to stay in the race until the convention in Tampa. There are only two possible reasons for this, and both come entirely from his ego.

Reason 1: He is unwilling to lose and there is nothing at stake for him. Gingrich is not paying his own bills, he is collecting money from the few donors that remain, staying in nice hotels, traveling across the country, shaking hands with people who praise him and flame his ego. Since entering the post-politics purgatory, and the obscurity that goes along with it, he is just having a jolly good time pretending that he matters again.

Reason 2: The race is the only platform that anyone is going to give him to try to imprint his ideology on our country again. The minute he drops out, the cameras and microphones leave him, and with them go his voice. Now he has started to rail against Obama for energy and because gas prices are so high. He has only just started and he has a lot of hot air to release. He is hoping to draw the nation into a debate where he could be relevant again, so when he slips out of the race people will still listen to him. This is, however, another hypocritical point, since Gingrich is not an energy specialist. He is a historian, perhaps the subject of his next book should he himself.