In the history of American politics there have been scallywags, barnstormers, upheavers, and a few carpet munchers. These are the exceptions. The grand majority of America’s politicians are careerists who balance saying much with doing just enough to be reelected. Then there is John Boehner, a man who can not seem to find a single thing to say, so he just disagrees.
All of his slothlike movements can at best be called flacid. When it comes to political action he has served only as an obstacle, never the momentum. He is that friend who always complains about what everyone wants to do but when confronted with an alternative he says: I’m cool with whatever.
Boehner rose to prominence during the days of The Unethical Amphibian’s tenure atop the house. He witnessed that cultivating controversy can bite the hand that inflames it. He learned that when courting conservatives, big talk was better than big action. He learned that to stay in the game as long as possible, your head can’t be much higher than anyone else’s, because when the ceiling comes crashing down, it is the biggest heads that get hit first, and Gingrich’s was smashed completely (it still hasn’t reformed properly).
America needs john Boehner like he needs his name pronounced correctly. It is a sad stamp on the American system that an ambivalent handpuppet can rise to such a high echelon. Instead of providing a fiery opposition or majority position filled with ideas for progress and advancement, it seems that Boehner’s only goal is to be as tan in January in north America as physically possible, and in that regard he truly excels. If only the House of Representatives was a tanning booth, he would really crank it up.